Hear all ye who are faithful to The Living Jesus & God our King, Hallelujah! And tremble ye who fear The wrath of The Righteous!
It is so proclaimed that The pestilential filth of NoWhere, Sodom & Gemorrah arisen is now obliterated, and rising from The ashes, The beautiful, pure Ivory towers of Jerusalem, Praise The Lord!
Let us bear witness to The inspiring origins of this lessed bounty.
It started when The god-fearing Christian souls caught wind of a Satanic plot by Larry Larouche & Keane West to capture Their children & brain-wash Them gay, personally molesting each and every one of Them. Warned that The Satanic, homosexual duo were mobilizing Their personal army, The Cowboys to sweep and terrorize The innocents of The land, one upright Citizen, Ira Pettigrew, arranged a Posse who went into the deepest pits of Keane West’s Casino to arrest them. But by deepest, darkest treachery, when They cracked The vault where all The frightened children were kept slaves, They tripped a booby trap, triggering a terrible explosion & all those tender souls perished. Sent to investigate, a cadre of Gilead’s finest Law Enforcement officials happened upon The scene & organized The courageous resistance that lead to The evil duo’s righteous extermination near The boundary of Mendocino.
The proud citizens, free to live decent, Christian lives, petitioned our dear leader, Zed & The Council of Elders for The perpetual protection of our glorious Republic, Gilead, Praise The Living Jesus! Upon recognition from our all-knowing, all-seeing computational Magistrate, ArchAngel, we so appoint our Curio guardian EZeke Salvation as Military Governnor and as we begin The hard work of transition from cesspool of wickedness to a decent, upstanding Community dedicated to The work of God,The Border is closed and shall remain so until furTher notice. Any attempt to intrude will be deemed The enemy & disposed of harshly by our SOTC military authorized to use deadly force.
Ye! Shall our Armageddon live on for a thousand years, a million as our children spread The Word of God throughout The Cosmos!
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